First day in office post PG

7th June 2010: Though my joining to the organisation was on 24th may itself, but that was part of pre joining formality. Formal joining to an office happened on 7th June @ Regional Office in Chennai. Reported for work at about 10:30 hrs. My other colleague had already reported about 3 days in advance, so he was my guiding light in office. On reporting, was informed that the top 2 heads (head and 2nd in command) were on leave and would be back after few days. As part of my roles & responsibilities, there was nothing much clear cut, hence was given a dump of file having all the circulars & notings with regard to retail loan provisions. I was asked to go through them & have a jist of it. The file was heavy in weight & papers were dated right from 90's to 21st century. Going through them and having an understanding was not so easy call. Information provided was updated & sometimes contradicted in different circulars (with varying date). Most of the information provided was like basic guidelines and were vague enough for an individual to take a call on his own at his/her discretion. Few things were defined to such an extent that anything or many things could be easily kept outside its perview.

In short, it was like reading on of the epics, which are supposed to fill the vacant parts of your brain and give you enough of additional contradictory and debatable matter that you feel earlier standing was better (position before going through the file). However, it also gave us enough of matter to debate further & start looking for ways to fill up the gaps in it.

Not a very exciting day either the day was like any visitor's day to any of the government's office waiting for the day to get over.

3 days 4 3 months

Not exactly 3 days but about 2 days left for 3 months to complete in my new organization. Did not update for long, but this update may not be very long. Completed 2 yrs of rigour (MBA life) and then got an opportunity to spend some time @ home with my parents and family members (near & dear ones). Call to join for job was at very short notice. Rushed to Pune for short notice joining. Many of would be colleagues had reported just based on email communication, they had received. Hard copies were still on way to their correspondence address.
Anyways 10 days of training (induction & orientation) prepared us to face few of the cultural shocks of life, which was awaiting us in a Public Sector entity.
Got the reporting order for Chennaipattinam (in short Chennai), capital city of Tamil Nadu. It was not one of the expected news for me, but then still, a choice had been made somewhere and now was the time to follow the paths leading from the made choice.
Reported in the city on morning of 7th June. Had passed through this city earlier too, during my school days, but had never thought that my post MBA life starting point would be this city again. Initial talk with my settled college friends made it easier for me too to set my steps in the city.
Next post will have some details about the first day @ office & other nitty gritty's of life in a PSB :-)

Hectic life

Life has become really hectic with classes 7 days a week extending from morning 09:00 hrs to 20:40 hrs (on some occasions without any hour of gap). Lost track of saturdays or sundays and for that matter even dates of month.... only day existing in schedule is 'today' and only time i can think of next day is when today comes to its tragic end (with all the tiring events that occur within class). I think (which sometimes i do) i can write a post on life within a MBA class as well... but all that for some other time. Making this post to make sure that i am not written off from the online world. I will make a come back soon with newer post having new freshness in it. Source of inspirations changes over time but it always happens with a replacement for the previous one. Looking forward to any new source of inspiration or at least something that can be written about.
On priority, as of now looking forward to another two weeks when this theme comes to it's end (probably a tragic end). The so called rigorous life has taken its toll in one way or the other. Most of us have become indifferent to happenings in class and also to the surprise quizzes, which are failing now to kindle any spark of excitement. A higher version of this could be perhaps called as Maslow's stage of Self Actualization (last stage from 'Maslow's hierarchy of needs'), wherein we are currently in a position where we can say that we have reached a stage beyond all this material stuff and these things are now immaterial. Quizzes/exams may come and go, but its we who stays there firm footed without even bothering about their quick visits. With sights to a brighter vision, i hereby hope that this stage continues forever, as it has cured us of worry about good or bad performance in any test that we are made to appear for :-)

उनके बारे में हम ज्यादा क्या कहें...

Of recent, entries posted to my blogs are dedicated to someone special, very special. The opinions expressed are solely mine own and her consent is not taken for any of the comments. Needless to say that she is not aware of how special she has become. Whatever be it, she has become a source of inspiration for my latest blog postings. Hope the inspiration continues with more such postings that can be cherished forever... :-)

~()()()()()()()()()()()()()()())()()()()()()()()()()()~

उनके बारे में हम ज्यादा क्या कहें, उनकी हर अदा निराली लगती है,
मुस्कुरा दे जो कभी, तो चारों तरफ खुशहाली छा जाती है।

उनकी तस्वीर दिल में बनाने की कोशिश हमेशा रहती है,

लेकिन अफसोस, तस्वीर की तुलना में वो खुद ज्यादा प्यारी लगती है।

उनको देख के मैं क्या कहूं, दिल और दिमाग में होड़ लगी रहती है,
कल तक तो कमबख्त यह दिल मेरे लिए धड़कता था,
लेकिन उसमें अब कुछ धड़कने उनके नाम की भी लगती है।

जब भी उनको देखता हूँ, खुद की हालत पे तरस आने लगती है,
मैं खुदा का "Rough draft" और वो एक "Master piece" लगती है।

चुन - चुन के उनकी हर मुस्कुराहट को दिल में सजाने की कोशिश होती रहती है,
कैसे कह दूं उनसे, की मेरी हर साँसे अब उनके ही नाम पे चलती है।

उन्हें देख के हमें कभी - कभी पूर्व जन्मों में जुड़े किसी तार की उपस्थिति की अहसास होती है,
यह और बात है की इस जन्म में भी वो हमें अनजान बन के देखती है।

उनकी अहमियत कितनी बन गयी है, जुबान कहने से कतराती है,
बस इतना समझ लो की इन धड़कनों की पटरी पे अब रेलगाड़ी उनके नाम की चलती है।

कहीं कमजोरी ना बन जाए वो मेरी, इस डर से जुबान चुप रह जाती है,
प्रेरणा श्रोत बन गयी है वो मेरी, बस कलम चलती रह जाती है।

राज कोई उन पर जाहिर ना हो जाए, मजबूरी ऐसी हो जाती है,
लेकिन क्या करें, नज़रें भी तो हमेशा उन्हीं को तलाशती रह जाती है।

मुस्कुराहट के बारे में फिर कहता हूँ, वर्ना दास्ताने-बयाँ कम पड़ जाती है,
आज भी उनकी एक झलक पाने को, निगाहें भीड़ में घूड़दौड़ करने लग जाती हैं।

उनके बारे में बखान करने को, शब्दकोष छोटी पड़ जाती है,
उनकी कोई भी अदा पे लिख के देखूं, तो दवात कम पड़ जाती है।

इतना कुछ बोला उनके बारे में, फिर भी बहुत बात रह जाती है,
चाहत ख्यालों में उठती है, वास्तविकता कुछ और कह जाती है।

उनके सामने 'गर कभी आ जाता हूँ, तो नज़र इज्जत से झुक जाती है,
इसका मतलब कोई यह ना समझना की मेरी आँखें उनसे नज़रें चुराती हैं।

उनसे मिलने की चाहत कभी - कभी दिल चीर के निकल जाती है,
लेकिन कोई क्या करे, हमेशा की तरह उसको मौत ही गले मिल पाती है।

अब तो मिलने की हर चाहत दिल के किसी कोने में लगता है दफ़न हो जाती है,
कोई पूछे उस से, की मेरे दिल में वो अपने चाहतों का कब्रिस्तान क्यों बनाती है।

बस इन्ही ख्यालों में मेरी रात और दिन एक समान कहीं खो जाती है,
उनकी एक झलक पाने की आस में पल पल कर के जिंदगी बस यूँ ही कट जाती है।

उनके बारे में ज्यादा क्या कहें, उनकी हर अदा निराली लगती है,
मुस्कुरा दे जो कभी, तो चारों तरफ खुशहाली छा जाती है।

- "क्षितिज़"

उनकी चाहत में क्या से क्या हो जाता है...

उनको देखने की चाहत है,
उनको मिलने की चाहत है
दस्तक कोई पड़ती है जब दरवाजे पे,
लगता है जैसे...
उनके आने की आहट है

उनसे बातें करने की चाहत है,

उनसे दोस्ती करने की चाहत है

उनका चेहरा जो नजर आ जाए,

लगता है जैसे...

गर्म रेगिस्तान में बारिश की राहत है

उनकी यादों में खोने की चाहत है,
उनकी साँसों में होने की चाहत है
उनकी आस पे हम तो अब जीते हैं,
कसम से मैं आज कह सकता हूँ...
अब तो हमें जन्नत की भी नहीं चाहत है

- "क्षितिज़"

उसके कारण ...

उसके कारण कुछ नहीं हो पाता है...

रास्ता भूल जाता हूँ और समय यूँ ही कट जाता है |

...

..

उसको देख के ना जाने क्या हो जाता है,

दिल और दिमाग दोनों आपे में ना रह पाता है | 

उसके चेहरे पे ना जाने क्या पाता हूँ |

जब भी देखता हूँ, दुनिया भूल जाता हूँ |

उसकी हँसी की क्या कहें, ऐसी बात है,

ऐसा लगता है जैसे मरूभूमि में हो गई बरसात है |

...

...

और क्या कहें उसके बारे में...

...

...

जिस दिन ना देखूं उसको,  उस दिन तो हाल बुरा हो जाता है,

जिंदगी खोई - खोई और हर चेहरे पे उसका चेहरा नज़र आता है |

उस से बात करने की चाहत दिल में दबाये रखा हूँ,

...

पर कैसे कह दूँ,

उसके लिए तो मैं आज भी एक अजनबी बना बैठा हूँ |

- "क्षितिज़" की दास्ताँ, ब्लॉग की जुबान

Life is not so just !!!

             Its almost a month since i have written my last blog. Not much of change in past month except that the second theme came to expected end and we had a short stint of outbound program at Agumbe Rainforest Research Station (ARRS). Nice experience over all but still fell little short of meeting our expectations. Just a two day affair and that to jungle trek cut short due to advance warning of naxalite movement in area. Not a big issue otherwise. All this has become part of our life in some aspect or other. We very rarely get things on our expected lines but still keep our hopes alive on what all to look out for. Third theme has started and classes on full schedule. End of this theme some where in April mid will bring an end to our first year and then there will be a 2 month of summer internship program.

Apart from all this, not much of change in my personal life. Had been to Bangalore for short while and then back again to campus. Life sometimes feel quite lonely and lost. Not sure if these are feelings in general or i am the one getting it in isolation. Had this sort of feeling about 10 years back as well. Still do not know how i came out of it. Looking for some similar magic to happen this time again. For now it seems like i am the one who is used to living life alone and everything else just keep coming and going.

जो चाहा वो मिला नहीं,

जो मिला वो चाहा नहीं।

मंजीलें हैं, तो रास्ते नहीं,

और रास्ते हैं, तो मंजीलें नहीं।